Wednesday, 31 October 2012

Voice of Reason #6: Hokey Halloween Costumes

This is what Halloween should be about

Sexy Finding Nemo. I shit you not.
Just putting it out there, I don't dislike Halloween. I don't know why or how the day came into being, and why it demands we celebrate everything downright spooky and kooky, but I certainly don't cross my arms, turn my back and huff "what a load of rubbish". But I do have one tick that I have to get off my chest and that's to do with a growing trend in fancy dress.

On the whole, Halloween is great. The colours, the candy and of course, the costumes all make Halloween a fun evening that is essentially harmless and overtly silly. My problem is not with the concept of fancy dress on the whole. Of course not, it's all good fun, it's silly and is great for breaking the ice at parties. You don't even have to have made the effort to be particularly scary or creepy; better to have variety that two dozen witches and vampires.

What the actual fuck is sexy about
Kermit the Frog?
All I'm saying is; please don't come to a Halloween party dressed as "sexy" SpongeBob Squarepants. There is nothing remotely Halloween-y about dressing up as a skanky version of a kid's TV or movie character.  There are some seriously horrendous costumes out there; I mean, "sexy Nemo" - Really? How is dressing up as a really slutty pre-pubescent fish got anything to do with Halloween?

The list doesn't end there; Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Shrek, Avatar, the Lion King and, get this, the Care Bears are all genuine things that you can buy a "sexy" Halloween costume of.

I mean really, what is sexy about Kermit the Frog? Who was it who decided that dressing up as a version of Snow White that moonlights as a prostitute was a good thing? Whatever happened to Halloween being scary?

Which is why I'm calling for this trend in 'sexing up' Halloween to stop. Seriously girls, put down the knee length socks, the short skirts and the ridiculous cleavage; that ain't Halloween.

Pick up some rubber fangs, some fake blood and face paint. Grab some scissors and don a bedsheet with cut out eye-holes. Anything, so long as it doesn't resemble a Disney character that has been spliced with Fifty Shades of Grey.

If this Halloween your invited to a party, go as a vampire, a zombie or a witch. In the name of all that is good and holy, please do not go as 'sexy' Edward Scissorhands. So long as it ain't remotely sexy, it still counts as Halloween and not as S&M.


  1. Really well written -You're very talented. Pray tell me how do you know about these sexy costumes? What websites are you visiting? ;-). perhaps it is best i don't know!!

  2. The absolute truth, thats why i have no candy at my house right now, id give it to people who actually scared me, not just walked around without clothes on. what are they dressed as... teenage sluts?

  3. While I loved the costumes of all those kids at the first picture, the last two pictures of those girls are already too cliche these days. I hope that they would find something better to wear.



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