Monday, 21 January 2013

Quotes Corner: Karl Pilkington #2

Stephen Merchant, Karl Pilkington and Ricky Gervais

Karl Pilkington. A man with no qualifications, very little education and who is now known the world over as a man who has a head shaped like a f**king orange. As a long time fan of Karl and his hilarious discussions with Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant, I've compiled together a quick list of some of the best quotes uttered by the man himself. 

On Eygpt
"You don't see that in the brochure. Shitty old nappy whizzing through the air. They tend to leave that out"

On the Pyramids of Giza
"It's like a massive game of Jenga that's got out of hand"

On the Amazon jungle
"What's so good about the Amazon? Can't be that good; there are things in it that would rather live in me knob"

On the difficulty of being a stick insect
"Imagine being a stick insect walking about. You'd forever be going, "Is that whats-his-name?" And you'd have to walk all the way up to the twig and you'd go, "Oh, it's just another bloody twig again.".

On China
Ricky Gervais: "You are the strangest man on the planet"
Karl: "You haven't been to China"

On Gremlins
"What were those things in Gremlins called?"

On cavemen
"Even cavemen had little pants on when you see footage of them"

On socks
"I don't like socks, they just cut off your freedom"

On the French
"If a French woman was talking to me, I'd say "I don't know what you're talking about love but it sounds good"

On problems
"A problem solved, is a problem caused"

On inventing
"If an idea isn't daft, it isn't worth thinking about"

On romance
"Suzanne says to me 'Do you love me' an' I go, 'Yeah, you're alright"

On living without thumbs
"I did a bit of an experiment, it's my job at home to do the washing up. I thought to make it interesting and stuff, I wondered if I could do it if I didn't have any thumbs. So I just sort of held them in and it's amazing how it took me ages!"

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