Wednesday, 20 March 2013

Voice of Reason #9: The Ultimate Action Hero

James Bond? What a posh nonce. Jason Bourne? On your bike, mate. Ellen Ripley? Suck on an alien pod. You guys ain't got nothin' on John "Yipee-ki-yay motherfucker" McClane. With A Good Die To Die Hard hitting Australian cinema screens this weekend, we take a look at why John McClane is the baddest of asses in action cinema. 

Let's face it; John McClane is pretty much the ultimate bad ass of action cinema. If you put him in a cage fight with Bond, Bourne and Rambo, I wouldn't fancy their chances much against Mr. McClane; getting older and balder has only made him deadlier. Who can say the same thing for many other action heroes?

Not only is he a dedicated and honest husband, willing to subject himself to a pretty lame Christmas party with all of her co-workers in Los Angeles but he doesn't take any crap when said party heads south pretty quick.

When Alan Rickman's slimy and sneering terrorist Hans Gruber rocks up and starts to hold everyone hostage, McClane ain't the kind of guy to take it sitting down. Oh no. Instead, he goes all crazy on their asses and picks them off one by one like a Xenomorph hell-bent on celebrating Christmas without this kind of crap.

Saving the best until last, McClane finally ends the night by chucking Alan Rickman's slimy ass out a window on the building's 30th floor, only to watch his death unfold in glorious slow-motion. Ice cold.

And if we're honest, he has the best catchphrase going. Uttered with such a delicate blend of gleeful pleasure and sarcasm, McClane gets one up on Bond for simply having brilliant catch-phrases that don't sound horribly cheesy (We're looking at you, Roger Moore).

The guy doesn't even wear shoes; what you see as glass, he simply sees as fluffy carpet. He gets hurt, but keeps going. Cars, planes, and SUV's dangling down an elevator shaft; nothing fazes the guy. Add to this that in his time, he has had to repeatedly work during the Holiday season and you can see why McClane is such a trooper.

Face it people; John McClane is pretty badass. When it comes to it, he trumps them all. He's straight-up, determined and witty. Not to mention he's the life of any office party...

Disagree? Let me know what you think in the comments section below! Coming this week is my review of A Good Day to Die Hard as well as Rank the Films #3: Die Hard. 

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