Friday, 19 December 2014

The 2014 Fuzzies Movie Awards

A hastily thrown-together round-up of the good, the bad and the ugly from the last 12 months, with some cheeky little honorary awards thrown in for a bit of fun.

I wanted to write something kind of tongue-in-cheek to go with the best actor/director waffle which usually rounds off the year. Let me know what you think in the comments section below!

Plus, keep your eyes peeled for my Top 10 Films of 2014 post in the next few weeks! (Bonus points for anyone who can correctly guess the Top 3 in the comments of this post!)

Best Actor

Jake Gyllenhaal in Nightcrawler - It may only earn him a nomination from the Academy, but Gyllenhaal's performance here was loaded with nuance and delicate emotional detail. A compelling and complex character done a world of justice thanks to one fine actor.

Runners-up: Ben Affleck in Gone Girl, Benedict Cumberbatch in The Imitation Game

Best Actress

Rosamund Pike in Gone Girl
Rosamund Pike in Gone Girl - Rosamund was a force to be reckoned with as the ultimate woman scorned in David Fincher's Gone Girl. Her Amy is cold, calculating and more than capable of committing murder, and Rosamund didn't take any prisoners en route to becoming my best actress of the year.

Runners-up: Sarah Snook in Predestination, Keira Knightley in Begin Again

Best Director

David Fincher with Gone Girl - From the eerie Missouri lakeside police searches to the frenetic camera flashes of Nick Dunne's paparazzi entourage, Fincher's direction on Gone Girl was sublime, and expertly captured the trashy, pulpy crime thriller vibe from Gillian Flynn's novel. An expertly crafted entry into an already esteemed filmography.

Runners-up: Martin Scorsese with The Wolf of Wall Street, Spike Jonze with Her

Best Soundtrack/Score

Hans Zimmer for Interstellar - From quiet, swaying cornfields to supermassive black holes, Christopher Nolan's space epic Interstellar needed something (or someone) suitably grand to compose the music. Enter long-time Nolan collaborator Hans Zimmer, who began work on the score for Interstellar earlier in the creative process than ever before, which is to say before the cameras were even turned on.

The result is a blaring, in-your-face orchestral score packed full of pipe-organs, horns and harps and piano. It's a vast, sprawling score that ebbs and flows along with the movie, perfectly complimenting and enhancing the experience. Easily my favourite from 2014. Tracks to look out for? Try 'Stay', 'Mountains' and 'Imperfect Lock'.

Runners-up: Alexandre Desplat for The Imitation Game, James Newton Howard for Nightcrawler

Best Comic-book Movie

Guardians of the Galaxy - Ooga chaka! Marvel's biggest gamble turned out to be its greatest success yet. Audiences were swept off their feet by the irresistible charm of Star-Lord, Gamora, Drax, Rocket and Groot in this year's most complete and entertaining comic-book offering.

Runners-up: X-Men - Days of Future Past, Captain America - The Winter Soldier

Best Comedy Movie

My winner for Best Comedy - 22 Jump Street
22 Jump Street - When 2012's 21 Jump Street concluded with Ice Cube exclaiming "You two sons of bitches, are goin' to college!", you just knew the stage was set for a riotous, tongue-in-cheek and self-referential sequel that is both endlessly quotable and rewatchable. If the stream of sequels hinted at in the credits do come to pass, you can bet your ass I'm onboard.

Runners-up: The Little Death, Frank

Best Australian Movie

The Little Death - it's been a pretty good year for Aussie cinema. We've had The Babadook scare the world shitless, we've had Predestination wrinkle their brain and we've had Tracks open their eyes to our gorgeous outback scenery. But the cherry on the top? A cute, cheeky adult comedy concerned with all things carnal that made the world snort on their popcorn. 

In Josh Lawson's The Little Death, nothing is sacrosanct and no taboo is off the table, making for some of the most hilariously staged jokes about sex, fetishes and even rape (!) I've ever seen. It's a wonderfully made mid-budget comedy, and one you should definitely check out. 

Runners-up: Predestination, The Babadook

Best Animated Movie

The LEGO Movie - Yep, who'd have thought a 90-minute advert for Danish blocks that destroy the soles of your feet in the middle of the night would turn out to be the funniest, wackiest and most heartfelt animated movie of the year? Not me, but that's exactly how things turned out. Take that, Pixar.

Runners-up: How To Train Your Dragon 2, Big Hero 6

Best Action Movie

My pick for Best Action Movie - Edge of Tomorrow
Edge of Tomorrow - It might not have charmed audiences into cinema seats, but Doug Liman's Edge of Tomorrow was the best action film from 2014. Fast, engaging, humorous and intelligent, this sci-fi war film with a Groundhog Day twist looked generic, but the finished product was anything but. Bolstered by A-listers like Tom Cruise and Emily Blunt, Edge of Tomorrow was a perfect throwback to kickass 90's action, and will no doubt earn cult status in the near future.

Runner-up: Captain America: The Winter Soldier, John Wick

Best 'Young Adult' Movie

The Hunger Games: Mockinjay Part 1 - The Hunger Games franchise continues its reign at the top of the YA genre with Mockinjay Part 1 asserting box-office dominance over rivals Divergent and The Maze Runner. It might not have been the best entry into the franchise, but Mockingjay Part 1 set-up the key ingredients for what is sure to be a gut-wrenching send-off next November.

Runner-up: The Maze Runner

Worst Actor

Jason Segel in Sex Tape - There were many instances throughout Sex Tape that tested the limits of plausibility. The premise is a good place to start. But the worst offender was Jason Segel in a role so idiotic that you just wanted to reach into the screen and punch him. Segel isn't a bad actor, he's appeared in many great films in the past. But in Sex Tape, he was unbearably irritating.

Runners-up: Johnny Depp (Transcendence), Will Arnett (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)

Worst Actress

Megan Fox in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - I don't think I really need to elaborate on this one very much. Whilst I'll confess I did enjoy TMNT to some degree, the worst part of this Michael Bay produced reboot was undoubtedly Fox, whose permanently dumb expression was unshakable throughout. Stunt casting for 13-year-old boys at its finest.

Runners-up: Nicola Peltz (Transformers: Age of Extinction), Cameron Diaz (Sex Tape)

The Michael Bay Award for Most Unnecessary Collateral Damage

Transformers: Age of Extinction - What a surprise. As if there was ever any doubt, this year's Michael Bay Award for Most Unnecessary Collateral Damage goes to the man himself in Age of Extinction, the film from 2014 most likely to spur the audience into self-inflicted lobotomies. The extent of this franchises' CGI explosion budget seemingly knows no bounds, and Bay was in fine form this time around - from Texas to Chicago, Beijing and Hong Kong, Age of Extinction's unending carnage was tiresome after one hour, but three really does test the limits of human patience.

The Award for Most Unnecessary Product Placement, Sponsored by Bud Light

Transformers: Age of Extinction - Product placement is so common place in movies nowadays, I barely even notice when a character whips out an Xperia smartphone or iPad. But Age of Extinction took product placement to a whole new level. The list of brands just stretches on and on; Oreo, Budweiser, Beats by Dre, Chevrolet, Victoria's Secret, Armani, Ford, Lamborghini, GM, Red Bull - you name it, it's shamelessly plastered across the screen (only to be promptly blown to smithereens of course).

The Liara T'Soni Award for Sexiest Alien 

Nebula from Guardians of the Galaxy - Nebula just edges out her half-sister Gamora on this one, but let's be honest - it's a pretty close contest!

The Hermione Granger Award for the Most Inappropriate Sexualisation of a Minor

Nicola Peltz from Transformers: Age of Extinction - Peltz of course is 19, but her character in Age of Extinction is a minor, something which the film makes no mistake to remind us of repeatedly as it slow pans up and down her scantily-clad legs. The plot is even put on hold in one scene so that the film can explicitly state why it's legally okay for her character to be screwing an adult in Texas. Yeah, that actually happened. 

The Inception Award for Biggest Mindfuck

Predestination - Aussie time-travel flick Predestination is loopy and convoluted to the extreme, with Ethan Hawke and Sarah Snook's characters crossing, double-crossing and triple-crossing their own time streams in this awesome mind-bending sci-fi action flick. Prepare to have your brain wrinkled.

The Bill and Ted Award for Best Movie Bromance

Schmidt and Jenko from 22 Jump Street - the Jump Street series took its self-referential humour to another level this year, and making Schmidt and Jenko aware of their own budding bromance made for some hilarious antics from Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill. Very funny stuff.

The Alien 3 Award for Most Misleading Trailer

Godzilla - When the first few snippets from Godzilla were opened up last year, audiences were led to believe Bryan Cranston would be the one to take the fight to Godzilla. 15 minutes into the final film, and that dream was quashed. We were promised Heisenberg!

The Mister Freeze Award for Worst Movie Villain

Maleficent from Maleficent - Disney neutered an iconic villain and turned her into a sappy fairy godmother. Boo!

The Lucius Malfoy Award for Worst Movie Wig

It's a three-way tie! - Jennifer Lawrence in The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1, Evan Peters in X-Men: Days of Future Past and Scarlett Johansson in Captain America: The Winter Soldier, proving 2014 is quite possibly the worst year for blockbuster movie wigs ever.

The Last Airbender Award for Biggest Letdown

Transcendence - I've lost count of the number of times my disappointment with Transcendence has been gone over on this blog. For more background, check out my Top 5 Worst Movies of 2014 post here. 

The Armageddon Award for Worst Movie Science

Lucy - Again, I've pretty much covered how much gobble-de-gook Lucy spewed in my opinion, but let's restate it just one last time. I mean, c'mon -  overdosing on drugs and gaining superpowers? I guess it's time to track down my local crack dealer!

The Footloose Award for Most Unnecessary Remake

It's a three way tie! Congratulations Robocop, Annie and Exodus: Gods and Kings - your entire existence is completely banal and pointless. 

The Crystal Skull Award for Most Unnecessary Sequel

So many to choose from, so little time - I'm going to go with The Inbetweeners 2, A Haunted House 2, Horrible Bosses 2. Congratulations...?

The Kleenex Award for Biggest Tear-Jerker

The Fault in Our Stars - don't lie, you were dabbing away at the 'ol tear ducts when Augustus died. If you didn't, it's a scientifically proven you have no soul. Sorry. 

The Fast and Furious Award for Biggest Guilty Pleasure

John Wick - Keanu kicking ass in this unashamedly silly action flick is my pick for biggest guilty pleasure of the year.

The Primrose Everdeen Memorial Award for Poorest Excuse for a Hunger Games Film

Divergent - Tris Prior is just a poor man's Katniss Everdeen.

The Scorpion King Award for Worst Movie CGI

Dracula Untold or Transformers Age of Extinction. Both were littered with jarringly awful CGI that made me wanna vom. Take your pick.

The Alice in Wonderland Award for Least Memorable Blockbuster

Hercules or Maleficent - both were flash but forgettable. 

The Award for Worst Animal Welfare Track Record in Film

Hercules - Let's be honest, throwing centaurs just isn't good PR for Ancient Greece.

The Sexiest Boy in District 12 13 Award

Gale (Liam Hemsworth) - Nothing much has changed, Gale is obvs the guy for Katniss #GaleRulesPeetaDrools


  1. LOL at these special awards. I actually laughed at loud at the 'poorest excuse for a Hunger Games film'! Great picks all around.

    I'm assuming your top three movies are Gone Girl, Nightcrawler and The Imitation Game...but I'm sure there's a surprise in there somewhere...maybe The Little Death. Also, you consider Wolf of Wall Street and Her 2014? I guess you're going by Australian release dates?

    1. Haha, thanks Fisti! :)

      Maybe ;) Still have a few to catch-up on, but you're not far off right now. Yeah, I kinda have to go by Australian release dates - Wolf of Wall Street and Her didn't hit cinemas here until February/March, so definitely 2014 for us. It's a little confusing, but it'll be the same thing with Birdman, Unbroken, Foxcatcher and some others this time next year!

  2. LMAO. I love the names for these awards! Especially 'Worst product placement sponsored by Bud Light"

    I agree with a lot of them, though I think Neighbors is the best comedy of the year. Come to think of it, this was a really weak year for comedies.

    1. Thanks Brittani! :) I was a little underwhelmed by Neighbours, but I get that with a lot of comedies. I think the genre as a whole needs a boost of health because, other than a few stand-out films, comedy has been pretty disappointing.

  3. Heh, fun post here, Rhys! Here's some thoughts on some of your awards you handed out.

    Gyllenhaal's a good pick for best actor. Definitely one of the best of the year, and here's hoping it still gets an Academy recognition. Me personally, I still think Vin Diesel gave the best performance as Groot. ;)

    For Australian movie, have you seen The Rover yet? If not, it's worth checking out. Some great performances in that one, really intense stuff.

    I should be seeing Predestination pretty soon myself, so we'll see how I agree with you on that or not. ;) That said, I think Interstellar is a good stand-in for the time being!

    And speaking of Interstellar, I'd also give it the biggest tear-jerker award at that. Maybe I'm just heartless, but TFIOS did nothing for me. XD

    Ahh, John Wick as guilty pleasure? Nothing to feel guilty over, it'd legit one of the best movies to release this year (and has a REAL good chance of making my Best of Year list ;) )

    Also, I'd say The Hobbit has some real terrible CGI in it.

    All in all, this was a real entertaining read. Good stuff! :)

    1. Thanks Chris! :) Diesel is a good pick! But Baby Groot was where his best work was ;)

      I haven't seen the Rover yet, but I've heard some good things about it! Maybe I'll check it out at some point.

      Predestination is really awesome, and very loopy. I'll be interested to see what you think, as it is quite unconventional.

      I haven't seen The Hobbit yet (doesn't come out here until Boxing Day) so I can't comment on it - although, if it is anything like the other two (especially the orcs) I expect it to be pretty weak in places!

  4. I didn't care for TMNT, but I thought Megan Fox did an okay job. It was only a kids movie anyway. I didn't watch Transformers, but I can't imagine Fox being any worse than Nicola Peltz. She's terrible in Bates Motel.
    Maleficent having to be the good guy was really upsetting for me. She and Ursula are my favorite Disney villains.
    22 Jump Street was one of the biggest disappointments of the year. The first one was great, but the sequel fell flat for me.

    1. Maleficent had the potential to be really good, and eerie but it wasn't anything like that in the end haha. Oh well, I guess that's the kind of thing we can expect from family-orientated Disney films :D Shame about Jump Street! Personally I really liked it :)

  5. Love these, especially the "cheeky little honorary awards." Lots of fun, indeed. Yay for the love shown to The Lego Movie. My guess for your top 3:

    Gone Girl
    The Imitation Game

    1. Thanks Wendell :) It was a lot of fun putting together! You're not too far off with that guess ;) Might be a couple of others moving around in there but good guess :)



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